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Pictured: A bunch of greedy koi go absolutely nuts and Japanese Prime Minister Abe looks on as President Trump decides that the best thing to do is to dump a pound of food into a pond. These fish have never seen so much food in their lives. This is the fish equivalent of one of those buffalo wing eating contests. If you look closely, you can see one of these little Violet Beauregarde fish crying tears of joy. This is the Unlimited Salad and Breadsticks of the Aquatic World. These fish are going to be talking about this day for the rest of their lives. “Remember that time we literally just ate for hours on end? Our jaws got tired from chewing or whatever fish do. Look over there, we painted a mural about it. We really love food.”

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