Culture


There’s a wild theory that the First Lady, Melania “This Isn’t What I Was Promised” Trump, is employing a body double for some public appearances and it’s, at best, the sixth craziest thing I’ve heard all day.

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Twitter user Joe Vargas went viral today with a conspiracy theory that is right at home in this present reality where our president gets his talking points from a morning talk show and apparently none of us are aware that we’re talking to Russian robots all the time. (Don’t worry; a Russian bot did not write this. If I was a Russian bot, would I be able to tell you how much I enjoyed last night’s episode of <<ERROR: INSERT CULTURAL REFERENCE POINT.>>)

Vargas, about whom I have my own conspiracy theories, posits that Mrs. Trump is employing a doppleganger to save her the arduous task of having to stand around and listen to her husband speak. I totally get that. I would to. If I could afford it, I’d hire a body double to check Twitter and walk around in the world in my place from now until the next election. What’s Jesse Williams doing? We’re basically twins.

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Now, before I get accused of being Fake News let me say: This is definitely Fake News. Unless it isn’t.

This is her a few hours after the press conference looking very much like noted famous person “Melania Trump.” Case closed.

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Then again, the picture above was taken in Beltsville, Maryland whereas Trump and “Mrs. Trump” spoke with reporters on the White House lawn before boarding a helicopter. There was time for a switch.

And if you think about it, doesn’t this look like a hired actress who literally cannot believe this is the gig she got?

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*Stares Melanially.*

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Look, I’m not saying that the First Lady is definitely trying to signal us by employing 6 to 12 women who look vaguely like her, including Emmy-nominee Sofia Vergara and, in a pinch, Charlotte Rampling. I’m just saying, if you think that the government wouldn’t do something like this and pretend it was totally normal, maybe you’re the body double.

Wake up, sheeple!

Follow R. Eric Thomas on Twitter.



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