Life & Love

Hello, E. Jean: I’m 33 and have dated half of New York City, and I’m tired of it! Finally I’ve met someone I really like. He’s a smart, funny, cute guy. He’s passionate in bed, but totally vanilla. I, on the other hand, have a kinky streak and don’t know if I can maintain interest in a guy who’s never even tried things that I consider part of a modern sexual repertoire.

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Please don’t tell me I must introduce him to new positions or bring toys into it. He’s in his late thirties and should know by now, right? Should I give him the boot because he lacks a dirty mind? —Fly by Night

Miss Fly: Alas. Sex is so tedious in 2015 that the long-established custom dictating that when a lady gives a gentleman the boot she also gives him a few thwacks of her riding crop, has all but disappeared. So prime him. The chap is not a mind reader. Tell him what you like. Cram him full! With detail! Over dinner! If the dude’s in no condition to stand up after dessert, you’ve done your job.

This letter is from the E. Jean archive.

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